Sitting in my car outside my mechanic's garage, I began to doubt he'd show up. I had skipped breakfast to fit this task before the time I usually start work. It was already ten minutes past what we had agreed on the day before.
An agreement involves who's going to do what by when. A lot of drama in life is caused because we have unclear and unkept agreements.
'Hello? Good morning, I'm waiting outside the gate.'
'Oh, I have only woken up now. Please give me fifteen minutes.'
As soon as you know you're not going to keep an agreement, let the other party know and renegotiate. You can't do this with 80% of your agreements. Take responsibility for broken agreements without making excuses, justifications, or rationalisations. There's no such thing as a small breach of integrity.
I started considering leaving before he arrived. That would teach him a lesson! But also get me nowhere and I'd need to find someone else.
There are three things to do with people who don't keep their agreements. Let's say they are always late.
Option 1: Ask them if they'd be willing to play this game with you. Explain that being always on time is something you enjoy.
Option 2: Take care of yourself. Always bring a book. Let them know that you don't mind but if they take too long, you may leave.
Option 3: Explain how you like to populate your life with people who keep their agreements. So ask them: would they be willing? Then after the third time they don't keep their agreement, say: 'I hear that you want to keep your agreements, but you're not willing to, as evidenced by the results. I'm going to go ahead and end our relationship.'
A boundary is something we tell someone we will do and it requires them to do nothing.
I tend to be tired around 10 PM and I like to wake up early. I need for us to start watching the movie before 8:30. If you're ready before 8:30, I'll be super excited to watch something together. But if you're busy until 9, I'm going to read my book and go to bed.