My first public speaking event was during the lockdowns. The online format seemed easier and made me want to give it a try. In the weeks before the event, every day I woke up stressing out about the talk. But until the event started, I had no idea how it feels to sit in an empty room, talking to your face on the screen, having over a hundred strangers listening.
To keep the momentum, I did another one in a couple of months. And then when a company reached out, I said yes to running webinars and online classes regularly.
Around ten events into it, I was still feeling the same — stressing out all day before each class. When it suddenly stopped, my motivation also plummeted. Without the stress, I just didn't look forward to going through the same topics again. Now I have a theory that people with stage fright make the best presenters. They obsess over the quality of their stuff, worrying about what everyone will think.
Last winter I also did one live event. Someone invited me to speak at their meetup. I put tens of hours into preparation and it went well. I sent the same topic to two conferences but got rejected both times. Not sure how it works.
Two years ago, I was feeling dizzy and mixing words one hour into teaching a class. Now, after twice as long, I'm not even that tired. As a rather quiet person, I also find myself talking more during dinners and walks. When I start explaining my ideas, I'm not rushing to finish after two sentences.